ok. um I feel like it’s fine to vent here. Well, I’m 18, i’m a considerably "good girl" and im a uh, virgin. lol. Well, my story starts way back in the 6th grade before I even had my first period, actually. I had an English teacher, he adored me, I was his best student and well, he’s the first case of my attractions. He was a tall rugged, blonde man, with this voice that I absolutely loved, Just imagining his voice now gives me chills, the way he said my name, drives me wild thinking back.. Of course at the time, I was just a little girl, far too innocent to even think anything like this, my thoughts then were far more innocent..

haha, there’s not much to say about him, he transferred to be a coach somewhere and i never saw him again, I just wish he’d gotten to see how sexy i’d grown..

anyway, then next instance is with a man who I can say that, i really cared for. Just being in his vicinity made my heart throb. I wanted nothing more than to be with him. my uh, wresting coach. he was a big balding guy, fat even, but he was so strong, and smart, and masculine.. And god, his voice would make me wet in class, It’s a good thing i was excellent in history or I might’ve failed. everything I’d ever wanted. Of course, I made a mistake that ruined any slight chance I had forever. But I’d rather not talk about that…

last major obsession of mine is current.My boss. I recently just started working in retail and I’m ashamed to say thtI’m lusting after my superior. He’s not too different in terms of looks in comparison to my history teacher/ wrestling coach. but he’s more gentle and business like. I can’t help but blush whenever he compliments my work ethic. ugh,I constantly imagine him, pumping me full with.. gah. I’m so ashamed. all three men mentioned. Married. With Kids. I would never disrespect marriage. But sometimes, I can’t even get off without thinking of one of them. Sometimes all three. just imagining them taking me. ugh. I always wonder about them, not in a sexual way, but generally. Like, how do they feel about me Was I a good student, was I attractive. Did I ever tempt them..? sigh.. It’s frustrating that I can’t get them out of my mind.. I wanna be "normal Idk what my issues is, but nothing has been able t fix it.